From a very young age, I considered myself to be on the spiritual path, and after completing my yoga teacher training in 2014, I embraced my role as a yoga teacher with open arms. Unfortunately, balancing this role with a void that I tried to fill through unhealthy relationships, substance abuse and an inability to fully comprehend my relationship to the divine, led me to abandon my role as a yoga teacher and the spiritual path altogether. Essentially, I felt like a fraud, teaching others how to live through yoga, while I was secretly and unsuccessfully battling my own demons.
In the summer of 2020, I had a synchronous dream that called me to try Kundalini Yoga. The next day, Carolyn’s Kundalini New Moon class popped up on my Facebook feed and without hesitation, I signed up for the class. I was completely new to this style of Yoga, but had an inkling that it was going to be something powerful that was going to help me transform from the state my life and spirit were in.
During my first Kundalini Yoga class with Carolyn, I felt a powerful connection to my grandmother (who was at that time, in a nursing home with Dementia and I was unable to visit her due to COVID restrictions). While connecting with my grandmother’s spirit in this ethereal space, she was reassuring me that everything was going to be okay, and that I was on the right path. This was such a humbling experience, as my grandmother taught me how to pray and was able to channel healing energy to me when I was sick as a child. Without the space that Carolyn had created during her class, I am not sure I would have received this reassurance or ability to connect to my grandmother’s divine spirit.
After reflecting on this experience, it became inevitable that I would have to drop my toxic relationships and use the practice of Kundalini Yoga to transform out of substance abuse and self-deprecating thoughts and behaviors. This practice truly is powerful and it became the road map for me to transform my life and ascend. I would describe it like seeing heaven, and then being unable to see it, and then realizing that heaven can be a place to embody and be in on earth.
Kundalini Yoga has been a gift of divine interception in my life and Carolyn appearing in my life at the time that she did is nothing short of a miracle.
With the support and guidance of Carolyn, I have dedicated myself to a morning practice for 6 months now and my life has shifted drastically. Letting go of toxic behaviors and relationships comes with its challenges, but I feel so supported and understood by Carolyn and the space I have created within my practice, that I am able to trust myself and transcend past false narratives and restrictive loops.
My path on the spiritual journey has been restored and I have essentially found the practice that allows me to surrender my masks and reclaim my divine power. I have begun teaching yoga again and feel that I am able to create a safe and authentic space for my students to heal and grow, similarly to the way Carolyn has for me. I look forward to what this journey has in store for me and I am optimistic about my future now, knowing that I have access to, in my opinion, one of the most powerful tools of inner transformation out there.